To: Jemima C Lloyd (21 November 1862)

To: Jemima C Lloyd (21 November 1862)

Correspondence

A letter from Wilhelm Bleek to Jemima Lloyd, sent in Cape Town and undated but written the night before his wedding, 21 November 1862 ("near midnight"), with an additional entry on the 22nd ("Saturday morning 5 a.m."). Wilhelm is unable to sleep the night before the wedding. He worries that he has created a "black cloud"by telling Jemima about his dreams and reassures her they had nothing to do with his trust or love for her. He doesn't regret sharing these dark thoughts, believing it would be false not to, but he wishes he could have spared her the painful shock, and he fears that he has affected her trust and love. He longs to be with her and worries they both may break down due to waiting. He also worries about her exhaustion after his long visit the previous day. He needs reassurance that she is "at rest" with him, although he knows they have mutual trust, understanding and forgiveness - a "true union" of their spirits even when shaken by outward things. There is also a discussion of practical items such as plans for work at the new house.

21 November 1862

alone, at rest, black cloud, black dream, being apart, breaking down from waiting, character, concern for health, created black cloud, dark thoughts, doubts, dream, emotional state, exhaustion, explanation of feelings, fears over-exertion and strain, feeling tired and worn, feelings, for you alone, fretting, future wishes, ill health, innermost thoughts, Jemima Lloyd, lack of regret, letter, longing for home and rest, love, Lucy Lloyd's health, Lucy Lloyd's preparation of house, marriage, mental state, midnight, mind not awake, Mrs Roesch and boarders, needs reassurance, New Street house, night before wedding, no regret, November 1862, one in thought and mind, painful shock, preparation of New St house, previous day's visit, reason for dark thoughts, reassurances, shared dream, shares thoughts and feelings, sleepless night, strain, tired and worn, things he can express only when they're alone, thought it wrong, travel in bad weather, true union, visit, wants to tell her everything before marriage, weather, wedding, wedding preparations, Wilhelm Bleek, wishes for future, worries he affected her love, worries he created black cloud before wedding, worries waiting may break them

1. The wedding was on 22 November 1862.